So I want to type this up now so that I don’t forget what this feels like. I feel like I cannot control my thoughts. I feel tired and yet hopeless at the same time. I would do anything to change my mood, even medication when otherwise I would never consider medication. I feel really unfocused, like I can’t keep my mind off of something about myself. I feel self-depleting. Can’t study. I am also not hungry and yet my body feels the need to eat.
I know that my thoughts are really irrational. They have permanence and the feeling like this always happens and I’m not sure how to get out of it. But just realizing that these thoughts will go away makes me feel better and realizing that most of the time I do not feel this way. Just now. It will pass and I will get better.
It feels good to get it out and maybe I just need to go to bed to let it pass. I’ll feel better in the morning. It’s just sometimes I feel left out of my friends. They like others instead of me. It makes me feel lonely. I know they care for me though. I just believe that they think I’m boring.
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop thinking about yourself.
Life is good. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Life is good.
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